Build a beautiful podcast website in 5 minutes. Disorganized-insecure attachment. This can lead to trusting and relying more on others and ultimately healthier, more rewarding relationships. Examples. And they can also actually care about their partner. A Secure partner will be able to tolerate the periodic withdrawal that feels necessary for an Avoidant person. Furthermore, a typical aspect of the avoidant attachment pattern is uncomfortableness and dodging of closeness and intimacy since, in the past, it only brought them more discomfort. You can choose to make sense of them in a way that springs you towards secure attachment. The more you practice presenting yourself to the person youre with, the more likely you are to have that experience go well. Most importantly, consider they are human and have foibles just like you. For example, if youre stressed out about work, your first instinct is probably to internalize it rather than lean on your partner for support. A deactivating strategy is the flight reaction to the unresponsive parent. Why Your Avoidant Partner Pulls Away Jessica Da Silva As weve seen above, it makes you weaker. Their closeness can be mistaken for power, but its just a front. When in a relationship, avoidant attachment types are more interested in individuals of the opposite sex. And while as*holes tend to be confident and not to care about their partners, avoidants come in all shapes and sizes. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Again, since this is new territory for a person with an avoidant attachment style, it can provoke anxiety and have a person turn to the more familiar patterns of running away from intimacy. Maybe youve been in this position before or you know someone who is going through it now, You go on a date, or two, or three with someone you feel you truly have a connection with, and then from one day to the next, you dont ever hear from them again, Or maybe you were (or still are) in a committed relationship with someone who tells you they love you and you mean everything to them, but their inconsistencies tell you differently.