He or he is likely to indulge in what military strategists call a scorched-earth policyleave nothing standing in his or her wake. So, if youre dealing with someone who has a really bad temper, this can be a scary situation. This includes personalizing content and advertising. Wow! When the Obstacle to Settling Your Divorce is a Narcissist, six signs that show it might be time to move on from your narcissistic spouse. As one of the leading law firms across Sydney and Melbourne, we can provide you with a wide range of legal services from property settlement to child custody. Once you get past that one-and-a-half to two-year mark, thats where the court starts taking notice, and asking, Hmmm. He or she is likely to see himself or herself as a victim, regardless of the facts, and has no intention of meeting in the middle, so you can forget negotiation or mediation. Going to court and having a judge decide may actually make the narcissist more comfortable because it means he or she doesnt have to take responsibility for the outcome, especially if its not favorable. Its not enough that he can say that he or she wonthe narcissist needs a symbolic trophy to prove it and the easiest way to achieve that is for you to fold your tents and go away. Boundary issues. You have battled a difficult fight and now it is time to heal your wounds. Your spouse is likely to concoct all manner of stories, which the courts might buy given his considerable charm. The love-bombing stage is over. What advice would you give to someone to avoid getting married to a narcissist in the first place? Because a narcissist is by nature a game player, Kirkpatrick reports, "There are patterns to dealings with a narcissist in settlement negotiations. This is important so you dont go spiraling back into the relationship you sought to leave, in the first place. 1. As a result, you would have a higher likelihood of losing the conflicts that are most important to you. And, again, this is where its important to have an attorney who gets it. It is imperative to share your feelings with someone you trust. Forgive Yourself. If you need to maintain contact, let them know how they can and cannot be in contact with . Continuing your therapy sessions and counseling can help you process your traumatic experiences and move ahead with your life. Keep in mind to treat yourself with kindness, compassion, and sensitivity. Lack of back and forth communication, not sharing schedules, appointments, or itineraries, signing up children for activities that fall on both parents time without notice and discussion when the parent doesnt have the legal authority to do so are pretty typical after a high-conflict divorce.